So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
