After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
