I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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