I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
