Don't make out with my wife yet
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
