Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
