Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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