I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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