I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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