Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
