yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
