Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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