brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
