All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
