"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
