New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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