Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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