Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm jealous of your bromance
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
