no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
