If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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