You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize