If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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