your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
