and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize