i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Actions speak louder than pants.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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