This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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