i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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