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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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• (310): View more from California

  That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

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• (206): View more from Washington

  "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive

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• (914): View more from New York

  Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?

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