ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
