I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
