I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
