I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
