what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
