i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
