And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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