there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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