i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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