As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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