i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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