I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
