grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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