I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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