I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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