I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
