Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
