Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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