Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
