Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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