Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
