Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
