As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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