She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize