If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize