I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are two peas in an std pod
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
