is your mom at the bar?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
