I want to have your abortion
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
