y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
