Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
