Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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