Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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