No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
