Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
