my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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