i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
